


NEVER ASSUME - The Adventures of a Very Proper Padawan and his very Proper Master

by ausmac



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 14:12:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7937695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ausmac/pseuds/ausmac
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's one of those "they have to have sex" stories...with a bit of a Jedi twist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	NEVER ASSUME - The Adventures of a Very Proper Padawan and his very Proper Master

**Author's Note:**

> Don't ask me where this came from. I may have been having an Out of Body experience at the time....

It was one of those situations most dreaded by Jedi: the old "being required to have public sex to appease the gods" scenario.  Although Qui-Gon had contacted Mace Windu to try and find some way out of the tangle he and his Padawan found themselves in, the senior Jedi had provided no help at all.  

"Sorry, Qui-Gon," he'd said, with what Qui-Gon thought was a rather badly concealed smirk, "you know the rules."  Qui-Gon could have sworn he heard someone else laughing offscreen, but he decided it was probably static.  "Local customs dictate your response in a political disruption.  We will trust in your best judgment." 

In other words, Qui-Gon thought after cutting the connection, you're on your own.  Thanks very much, Master Windu! 

So he had sat down with his Padawan to try and work out some solution to the problem.  He smiled with what he hoped was a confident air. 

"At least on this occasion I will look to you for advice, Obi-Wan." 

Obi-Wan frowned.  "Me?  I'm sorry, Master, but makes you think I have any experience in these matters?" 

"But. . ." 

"Master, I have never .. .lain. . .laid. . .had sex with a man in my life!" 

Qui-Gon blinked.  "Oh.  I am sorry.  I assumed. . ." 

"You assumed," Obi-Wan said, tucking his hands into his sleeves, "that I am promiscuous.  In fact, I have followed your lead in all things." 

Oh dear, Qui-Gon thought.  That means he's an effective virgin.  

"Well, then," Obi-Wan continued, amazingly placid, "I suppose we will have to improvise." 

"Improvise!  Padawan, we are talking about sexual intercourse here, not a musical session.  We really don't have time to take a quick refresher course in Human Sexual Techniques!" 

The mention of the most famous and popular course on the Jedi educational curriculum made Obi-Wan smile briefly.  He'd particularly enjoyed the section on aids and objects…..  "Yes, I realise that.  Perhaps they would be satisfied with some enthusiastic masturbation?" 

Qui-Gon blinked.  "Of…on…whom?" 

Truly, sometimes his Master could be quite dense. Then again, the question did open the way. . ."Well, I would be prepared to offer myself. . ." 

"I'm sure you would, Padawan."  Sarcasm dripped from the sentence.  "This is serious, Obi-Wan."  

No immediate solution came to mind and they were still trying to work around the tangled problem when the prison door was opened and three burly guards took them from the cell.  They were led to more hygienic quarters where slave girls removed their garments and washed them from head to toe.  

Being hand-washed by strangers wasn't all that wonderful.  When one of the servants approached with a large bag of soapy water and a tube Qui-Gon backed up, eyes narrowed.  "Just what exactly do you plan to do with that?" 

Obi-Wan was busy with his own problems, as an attractive girl was showing enthusiasm with her flannel and sponge.  "Oh, no, thanks.  No, it's quite …no, I can clean there thank you…" 

Clean and pink with embarrassment, they were finally dried and dressed in irritatingly see-through floor-length robes and taken to the Place of Meeting. 

The Moomfah, or religious leader, took them through into a room with a large pile of cushions on the floor and two artfully draped young men holding various implements, including a tray with a vial of oil.  The old Moomfah bowed to them, his expression serious. 

"Now you must perform the Ritual of Mating to appease the gods and renew our faith and trust.  We watch and wait."  He bowed again and left them, patting an astonished Obi-Wan on the butt as he passed. 

They stood staring at each other for a few moments, uncomfortably aware of the outrageous situation they had found themselves in.  Qui-Gon decided it was a Jedi Master's duty to lead, no matter the discomfort, and reached out to pat his Padawan on the shoulder. 

"Don't worry, Obi-Wan, all will be well."  He began removing the thin robe.  "Perhaps we should just. . .what?"  He froze at Obi-Wan's sudden gape. 

"Good little gods!"  Obi-Wan was looking down at Qui-Gon's groin. 

Qui-Gon flushed and restrained himself from covering his genitalia with his hands.  "Obi-Wan, please. . . " 

Obi-Wan took in a deep breath and raised his glance to Qui-Gon's face.  "Sorry, Master.  It was just…a bit of a shock.  Something of a revelation."  He sucked in a deep breath, cleared his throat, went to speak and decided against it.  Some things you just didn't compliment a person on. 

The older Jedi smiled at the little-boy-lost aspect of his Padawan that he had not since Obi-Wan was young.  His Padawan was so efficient and capable he forgot sometimes that he was a young man on the verge of his lifetime of service as a Knight of the Order.  Qui-Gon refused to allow his Obi-Wan to be humiliated by this experience.  

"Well, we shall just have to muddle through, my Padawan."  He stepped forward and held out his arms as he had to the young man before the cool and proper distancing of teacher and student had set them apart.  "Be at ease, my friend, all will be well." 

After a moment's hesitation, Obi-Wan met his Master in a hug.  He was very much aware of the touch of Qui-Gon's chest and stomach against his own body and he stepped back slightly to undo his robe, determined not to be seen as lacking in courage.  He was very much aware of the warm smooth feel of his own skin as he did so, for the girls had oiled them both and he found himself wanting to see if his Master's chest felt as good as it looked. . . 

As his robe slid away, he moved forward again into the circle of Qui-Gon's arms.  It felt odd to be held so intimately by his Master.  They had touched now and then, but it had always been cool and professional, without any overtones.  How could there be anything else?  He had never felt a sexual attraction for another male, and the idea of touching his Master so had never even been a fantasy. 

Yet suddenly it assumed the proportions of one.  Qui-Gon's body felt very different from the women he'd touched intimately.  Tall and strong, still so very fit, and Obi-Wan's hands encountered healthy male muscle, strong bone, firm, warm skin over the vessel of Light that was Qui-Gon Jinn.  Not a beautiful body as humans considered beauty, but hale and strong and very special. 

He felt Qui-Gon's hands exploring him with the same hesitant uncertainty.  One large rough palm touched his face, slid down his neck, the fingers stroking down the plaited length of his braid while the other went to the back of his head and pulled out the tie of the small tail of hair.  Thinking that was a good idea, Obi-Wan hesitantly reached up and undid the tie behind Qui-Gon's head and watch the long silvered hair fall down over his Master's face.  It made him look somehow more undisciplined, more wild - 

A finger slipped down the middle of his chin, lingered over the cleft there, then tipped his face up and he was reminded again of how tall Qui-Gon was.  Up and up and then he was looking into wide, amused blue eyes. 

Qui-Gon, too, had found the tactile journey a fascinating one.  He had rarely felt passion in his life, beyond the call of his duty to the living Force.  Even his teaching of Obi-Wan had been part of that duty.  He was fond of Obi-Wan, respected his abilities and strengths, recognised his weaknesses, trusted absolutely in his loyalty and goodness.  He realized, suddenly, that he loved him as well, because the twinge in his heart when he saw those changeable eyes flicker from green to grey to blue as the light caught them could only be that all-too-human frailty called love. 

He let his Padawan pull him down into a kiss.  If they were to be intimate then a kiss seemed a natural way to begin.  And he admitted to himself, as Obi-Wan's mouth touched his, teasing it open, that he welcomed it.  Far too rarely in his life had he allowed himself to enjoy the simpler things that normal people enjoyed.  Well, since it had to be, why not enjoy it. 

Obi-Wan closed his eyes and catalogued the sensory input.  Qui-Gon's mouth tasted familiar, perhaps because they had eaten the same frugal meal, and his breath whispered into Obi-Wan's nostrils so that the young Jedi breathed and tasted and felt his Master, drawn into a flush of perceptions.   Seeking balance, his hands rested against Qui-Gon's chest, fingers caught in the light coat of hair.  They explored each other, moving into a closer, more comfortable as they grew accustomed to being so close.  Then they touched intimately, aroused flesh moving together and - 

\- the kiss changed to something else, like a key opening a door.  The two tongues slid together as Obi-Wan felt the first hot spark of arousal, as surprising as it was pleasant.  Who'd have thought kissing a Jedi Master would be erotic? 

More daring, or perhaps more intrigued, Obi-Wan slid his mouth across Qui-Gon's cheeks, nibbling at the beard, sliding his lips down to the long column of throat, and he felt the pulse in the big blood vessel leap under his tongue.  Qui-Gon's heart thundered under his hands, showing that, no matter how calm he was outwardly, inside he was agitated.  Perhaps even excited. 

Just when things seemed to be going well, there was the sound of a door opening and they both turned.  Half a dozen people had entered the room and taken seats off to one side.  

The first man smiled, waved a hand.  "Don't mind us, please carry on." 

Obi-Wan's arousal vanished.  These people wanted him to have sex.  With his Master.  While they watched.  It was - impossible. 

"Impossible," he muttered aloud into the front of Qui-Gon's chest.  "I never signed up for this.  I'm a Jedi Padawan not a sexual exhibitionist." 

Qui-Gon sighed for, in truth, he wasn't feeling up to it right then.  Not that it wasn't terribly nice holding his nearly naked Padawan up against his body in such an surprisingly pleasant way - - 

He looked across at the small, very interested audience, and an outrageous idea occurred to him.  They didn't look particularly weak-minded, but looks could be deceiving.  Bending back down towards Obi-Wan in an outwardly seductive moment, he kissed his cheek and moved his mouth towards his Padawan's ear.  

"Do you remember how we practised dual Force influence through deep linking?" 

Obi-Wan nodded, bringing his mouth up towards Qui-Gon's.  It looked very natural.  "Yes.  You think it will work?" 

Qui-Gon shrugged, regretting it at once as the filmy fabric slid further down his arms.  "Ah, we can only try.  Link to me. . ." 

It was something experimental they'd tried - supplementing their individual Force abilities by joining in a sort of psychic linking, allowing Qui-Gon, the stronger of the two, to project twice the amount of Force power. 

Their Force auras meshed perfectly from long familiarity and Qui-Gon felt the peripheral contact of Obi-Wan's mind on his.  He ignored it for the moment and turned his attention to the watching audience.  With a flick of his fingers, he directed the powerful surge of control through the binding Force into the minds of the waiting clerics and swung Obi-Wan around to face them. 

He spoke quietly, maintaining his control over the flow of power.  "We are having sex.  It is very exciting.  You are impressed by it.  It pleases your Gods…" 

The watchers became glassy-eyed, their mouths dropped open, yet still Qui-Gon felt resistance from the more powerfully minded amongst them.  He turned a little to Obi-Wan. 

"Stronger, Padawan.  I need more." 

He felt a surge of power into his mind, almost staggered as he absorbed and redirected it towards the clerics.  He'd never felt anything like the contact that Obi-Wan had established with him - it was very deep, very . . .deep . . . 

  * and he knew everything, felt everything, understood everything - about Qui-Gon - about Obi-Wan - as they melded and meshed and became - 



One. 

When reality returned they were sitting together on the floor, arms around each other.  The watchers were gone, they were alone. 

Except they weren't. 

Obi-Wan looked at him with wide, shocked eyes.  "What have we done?" 

Qui-Gon swallowed the constriction in his throat with effort.  "I knew you were going to ask me that." 

"And I knew you knew I was…" 

"Yes, yes, let's not go there."  Qui-Gon shook his head.  "It's a psychic linking.  Some sort of bond." 

It was eerie - they each knew what the other felt, and sometimes even what they thought.  Qui-Gon locked in some fairly impressive shielding as they dressed in their robes and conferred with the satisfied local bureaucrats, ignoring requests for a return visit before they headed off to board their ship for the return flight to Coruscant. 

The Council was fascinated but unconcerned, Yoda least of all.  

"Go away it will, in time," he said.  "Less experimental you should be, Qui-Gon." 

"But Master Yoda."  The senior Healer waved a datadisk.  "It's a lifebond.  They don't just go away!" 

"Nonsense!  Life bond, whoever heard of such a thing for Jedi!  Been taking those little green pills again, you have, Joren!  Talk we must!"  Yoda dragged the protesting Healer from the room as Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan exchanged puzzled looks. 

"What's a Lifebond, Master?" 

Qui-Gon smiled and patted his Padawan's arm as he led him back to their quarters.  "It's just a cliché, my boy, don't let it bother you.  Let's go home, and you can make me some Tea, and give me a massage and you can brush my hair if you like….."

 


End file.
